I have been receiving your letters of concern/anger regarding my inactivity, and I thank you kindly for them. In truth, there’s nothing I’d like to do more than spend a few hours at my desk with a glass of ruby port musing over the last few week’s adventures. Alas, as the sun begins to set on my first semester in the most special of administrative regions my university insists on dumping an ungodly workload into my lap. But fear not, dear readers! I have been struck with a nugget of inspiration that I intend to pen forthwith.
During a period of intense study, a brief recess is a useful tool. Some may go for a relaxing smoke, a snack or a stroll. I prefer to watch my hero, my idol, my inspiration, Marco Pierre White whip up some spectacular dishes in partnership with Knorr. I never cease to be in awe of this man’s culinary prowess, down-to-earth opinions and charisma. His idiosyncrasies are intriguing. So intriguing that I have concocted a fast-paced, fun-filled, boozey game to play with your friends, family and colleagues. Simply fill up a glass, go on to Youtube, pick any MPW video you like and follow these rules.
THE MARCO PIERRE WHITE DRINKING GAME
*Adds olive oil* – 1 finger
*Makes stock cube paste* – 1 finger
“There’s no real recipe” – 1 finger
“The secret ingredient”…(insert Knorr product here) – 1 finger
“To your taste” – 1 finger
“It removes the water content and removes the acidity/intensifies the flavour” – 2 fingers
“The stockpot brings out the flavour of the meat” – 2 fingers
“It’s your choice” – 2 fingers
“Cook without colour” – 2 fingers
“Render the fat” – 2 fingers
“I am half Italian/My mother was Italian” – 3 fingers
“I got these down the supermarket” – 3 fingers
“Some people do…I don’t” – 3 fingers
“As a boy” – 3 fingers
*Sexual innuendo (e.g. “breasts”)* – 4 fingers
“Delicious!” – 4 fingers
“It gives it that sense of occasion” – finish your drink.
*Finishes with some parsley* – finish your drink